Wednesday, August 10, 2011

one more year

One more year of mediocre existence achieved!

One of the scary things about birthdays is that it reminds of the previous occasions and also painfully forces me to remember every stupid thing I did in the interim - worse are the memories of things that I wanted to do but was too lazy to even think about it.

This date also forces me to think about the end, reminding me that I will have only a finite amount of these days. Its not a fear of the unavoidable death that troubles me, but a sense of lethargic acceptance of the death with an implicit denial of the meaning of the time between now and the eventuality.

Lastly, the thing I dislike the most is the ordinary nature of the special day. Irrespective of what fun activities we do, what extra fun we get out of this day - the day itself is spectacularly ordinary; like every other day. This fact in itself has been troubling me as long ago as I remember birthdays.

Anyways, all these are disclaimers for why I might have sounded grumpy or reserved today. Happy birthday to me! Thanks for the wishes.

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